Musings of a Random Mind

Untuk selamanya - I still believe..

It is of course expected to post about Christmas & New Year's etc... but I won't. Not that they weren't memorable, they were. And they will live in my memories without the need for journalising. Photos of the Krabi trip will serve to jog my memory, as will photos of Clear & Mambo the following night.

I have been reading a book called Freakonomics - quite interesting. Among topics deliberated are conclusions drawn from data - when two events have a pattern of occuring together, they can either be correlated or causal. X could cause Y, or Y could cause X; or some other factor could cause X & Y to happen together. For instance, does it snow when it is cold or is it cold because it is snowing or beacuse of some other reason it snows & is cold at the same time?

Coincidentally I had my annual checkup with my gynae today & I asked him about a certain contraceptive my cousin had implanted in her (I'd rather not get pregnant in our first few years of marriage, especially not in Shanghai). He said that it's a very crude form of birth control used more commonly in poor countries to control population growth and was surprised my cousin got it in Australia. Contraceptive pills are still the best option apparently. I relayed my mother's strong objection due to her belief that they increase the risk of cancer. On the contrary said the good doctor - they decrease the risk of ovarian cancer. However, studies have found that many women who are diagnosed with cervical cancer also use the Pill. Cervical cancer is caused by among other things sex with multiple partners. It so happens that many women who use the Pill also lead that sort of lifestyle and thus use of the Pill and cervical cancer are correlated, not causal.

That's his opinion anyway. Interesting though, innit?

Which leads me to my next point of deliberation. I found out today that PV wants to get divorced. He has 2 children - a 2 year old & a 7 month old baby. It was a shotgun wedding & they've been married only slightly over 2 years. It appears he has met someone else (though I suspect he never really stopped screwing around - is it true a tiger can't change his stripes?)

His brother had also gotten divorced within less than 2 years of getting married. They were both victims of divorce themselves. (They shared a father but different mothers, and their father got remarried a third time. In the father's defense, his first wife left him & PV at a very young age for another man, and the second wife was a kampung type matchmake by his old-fashioned mother who insisted he needed a woman to look after his son. I suppose that's just the way it was in those days)

Is it mere coincidence or is there a causal pattern in children who suffered from their parents' divorce? Perhaps it's the shattered belief that marriage is sacred & til death do us part simply holds no meaning for them, consciously or subconsciously. I have no answers and cannot speak from experience either, for my parents are still together (though not the most exemplary of loving marriages). But it does break my heart, especially for PV's wife as he is such a jerk. And it is confronting as Friday approaches and I will officially be Mrs Tan.

I thank God for blessing me with a wonderful man, and I still firmly believe in til death do us part. May I never have to face a situation that forces me to think otherwise.

posted by plain and simple me @ 9:04 PM