Musings of a Random Mind

it's all bullshit

the last couple of days i have been having so called deep conversations which have only led me to conclude - you will never really know a person until the situation is drastic & all the crap that you (or whoever) purport to be or perceive yourself to be as, remain as ideals or past coincidences in situations which will probably never recur. so.. fuck it i say. fuck pointless debating which only leads to more questions & no answers. which make you wonder why the hell were we even talking about that in the first place & did i even begin to express my thoughts accurately? though necessary, too much soul searching can be detrimental.

you are who you are. you change the things you don't like as you discover them. or maybe you aren't able to. so what? nobody is perfect and we will never be on our own accord.

i think i am most truthful when i write. yet i am afraid of what people think of what i write. i hate that many of you whom i don't even talk to can read this and form some half arsed impression of me which could be so way off the mark. or you might actually gain some truthful insight into the warped prism that i think i am, and instead read me like a book and tear my romantic notions of the complicated being that i am to shreds.

honestly i don't know and i wish i didn't care, but i do. and only in one person's arms do i feel safe, safe from myself, safe from you, safe from everything. for now, and hopefully for always

posted by plain and simple me @ 7:47 PM